Asking those questions …

Many people have experienced being asked a question they didn’t expect at one stage or another. Well, as a disabled person I tend to get more than your fair share! I am often asked if I get fed up with questions or comments, and in all honestly, I don’t mind most of the time.  It shows people are wanting or willing to find out more, but now and again I do get that one question or comment that stuns me.

Lots of people worry about what to ask and how to ask questions. Something that I have come to realise since delivering disability awareness courses, is that I am very open and honest. I am told that I tell it how it is, no holds barred!  I do start the course by saying that participants are encouraged to ask questions, and they will not be judged on the question they ask. This seems to help as it puts people at ease, and that sense of dread or embarrassment goes away.

One of my favourite questions is “oh, have you hurt your hand?” My answer was always no! My hand is how it has always been, it might not be how you expect it to be, but there is nothing out of the ordinary for me so in reality there is nothing wrong with my hand. It makes me giggle inside when asked this question and you can see if the person is uncomfortable or starts to go red in the face as they don’t know how to respond to my answer.  My hand is clearly not like theirs, for starters it has a mind of its own and sits in a weird position. I would like them to acknowledge their question may not be appropriate, apologise (even though I do not need or expect this), and ask a question about my hand or disability, rather than trying to change the subject. The most common question is “oh, so have you got anything good on today?!”

Asking questions and finding out how disabled people live their lives, is important for society to understand more.  Asking questions is fundamental to this, it is how many people learn and become confident and able to ask those question’s they really want to ask. 

One group in society that seems to have no sense of embarrassment is young people. They will ask questions, say it how they see it, but mostly they want to learn and they want to understand. Many young people don’t have the opportunity to ask such inquisitive questions, as it is drilled into them from an early age what is acceptable and not acceptable to ask, how to ask it and more when to ask questions.

It comes with the territory that disabled people are stared at more than your typical person walking down the street.  I have no issue with this at all, especially by a child, but if they want to ask a question, please let them.  This is the way we can educate future generations to be inclusive and combat discrimination within society against disabled people.

Overall, I want everyone to be able to ask questions even if they think they are ill-judged, not needed, or appropriate. No question is stupid it is all about learning and what is acceptable by the disabled person.